Maura Highles
by Helvistica
Summary: You brought marijuana here? RATED M FOR ADULT CONTENT AND DRUG REFERENCES
1. Chapter 1

There was a gifset on Tumblr in which Maura mentions the word "marijuana". I thought it would be interesting to think about what might happen if Maura found a joint and smoked it. So it all began like this…

_Maura finds a joint on the floor of Cailin's bedroom. She's about to flush it when she stops. It's something she has yet to try. "I really shouldn't," she thinks to herself,"It's illegal and dangerous"…_

_But for reasons she will never know, Maura decides to smoke the joint anyway. "For science" she rationalizes._

_About an hour later, Jane comes wandering into the house, tired from chasing dead-end leads all day. She hears giggling coming from the living room. She walks around the sofa to find the Medical Examiner on her back, massive smile on her face, an open packet of Doritos on her chest, talking to Bass…._

What follows is the result… Each Tumblr user who added to the story will have their own chapter, which means they will vary in length… Please note that this work is unedited. Also, I'm not even sure if this will be finished… depends on the creative minds that hang around Tumblr, I guess!

**A/N: If you would like to contribute to this story, please feel free to PM me or you can find me on Tumblr at: elviswithoutthetassels . tumblr . com**

**A/N 2: A massive THANKS to kathyisweird for the title!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Written by - ismaurainlovewithjane**_

"Oh… hello… Jane. Have you ever had these Cool Ranch Doritos? The recipe appears to be almost completely devoid of any actual food substance, and yet they taste delicious. They taste like the way your smile looks, Jane, when you're giving me a hard time. Kind of spicy, but not that spicy, but really yummy and surprising."

Maura eats another handful.

Jane openly gapes.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Written by - sasha-sexual**_

It's then she notices the smell. She knows that smell anywhere, back in the day she'd caught Tommy a couple of times… Her eyes wander over Maura's body and move to her bloodshot, half lidded eyes and it doesn't take her long to make the connections. "Are you—are you high, Maura?" Emotions run through her and she's not sure if she should be amused or angry or… Really all she can feel is disbelief and shock.

Maura looks up at Jane from the floor, blinking slowly before a grin spreads across her lips and she lets out this… goofy giggle that makes Jane want to laugh but she clenches her jaw to keep the smile from her face. Maura seems to think on it. "I found a chip in here earlier that I could have sworn looked just like Michael Jackson… The—the spices were shaped…stra-strategically and I was gonna show you but…I ate it." She starts laughing again and it dies down into a sort of sigh.

"Really, Maura, really? What the hell did you smoke?" She's honestly trying to be stern but she can't quite hide the smirk on her face.

Shrugging Maura looks at Bass who is beside her head, nibbling on a strawberry. "It was Cailin's… I thought—what the hell and then Bass and I had this conversation about why organic strawberries are better and he made some really great points and—" She pauses and suddenly pushes the bag of Doritos off her chest. "I need fudge clusters." Sitting up she scrambles to her bare-feet with the help of Jane who just looks on, still shocked.

"Clusters, fudgy clusters, yummy, yummy cluster fudges." She mumbles to herself as she rushes into the kitchen like its life or death. She starts to rummage through her drawers, mumbling about how much she needs the chocolate before a loud, "AH HAH! I found you! You thought you could hide!" She holds the bag up triumphantly and before opening it and popping one into her mouth. "Smo goof" She says on a mouthful, leaning against the counter with her eyes closed


	4. Chapter 4

_**Written by - ismaurainlovewithjane**_

"Jesus Christ," Jane says, hands on her hips. "How MUCH did you smoke?"

Maura shrugs. "Whaddaya call it? A bundt. Ooh. Do they call it that because of bundt cakes? With the holes in the middle? You know those cakes? We should get one of those cakes."

Jane takes a step toward Maura, watching fudge cluster crumbs sprinkle Maura's blouse. "You smoked an entire BLUNT?"

Suddenly Maura drops the fudge clusters. She looks at Bass, who is making his slow way toward the kitchen. "BASS! Did you just say what I thought you said?"

Jane looks at Bass. She looks at Maura. She is desperate to be angry and stern, but instead she chokes back a laugh. Her eyebrows could not get any higher on her forehead.

Maura flings herself at her freezer, throwing open the door so hard it bangs into the cabinets. She rummages until she spins around, triumphant. She thrusts a frosty box at Jane, and gives a knowing nod to Bass.

"Thin Mints," Maura purrs. "Bass was right. We still have Thin Mints. Mmmm. Get into the musculomembranous expansion of my alimentary canal."

"Your… your _what_?" Jane laughs.

"Get in my belly," Maura whispers, as she slides a finger under the cardboard opening of the box. "Get in my belly, now."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Written by - whatisitcalledagain**_

Jane reaches out, "Maura, I think we need to put the snacks down."

Maura gives her a pout as she slips another thin mint into her mouth. Her half lidded eyes narrow as she looks at the brunette.

"You just want them for yourself!"  
The doctor gasps, gathering up the thin mints to her chest.

"Maura, I don't want them and I don't want to hear you complain about a bellyache."

"That's a physical impossibility," Maura states, "gastrointestinal pressures, on the other hand."

"Maura, give me the mints."

"In exchange for what?"

Jane sighs. "Whatever you want."

"More chocolate?"

"No."

"Not even a small kiss?"

"No, no more chocolate, Maura."

"I wasn't asking for chocolate, Jane."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Written by – ismaurainlovewithjane**_

Maura reaches out a hand and very lightly touches Jane's cheek. "Your face feels extra super extra soft, Jane." Maura puts the same hand on her own cheek. "_My_face feels extra super extra soft." She wiggles her nose and bites her lips. "My face feels super extra weird, actually."

Maura smiles and puts her hand back on Jane's face. Jane is still, not sure what to say or do. Then, without warning, Maura launches herself at Jane, crushing the box of Thin Mints between them. Her mouth is hot, her kiss sloppy. She only makes it to half of Jane's mouth, because she's barefoot and Jane still has on her boots from work. Maura's balance is off, and the kiss slides from Jane's bottom lip to her chin - a slow motion train wreck, a slime trail of Doritos, fudge clusters, and Thin Mint crumbs.

Jane puts her hands gently on Maura's shoulders and holds her at arm's length. Maura's eyes are closed, her smile blissed out.

"Your lips are extra super extra soft, too, Jane," she says, putting a hand to her own lips, her eyes still closed. "And they taste like spicy chocolate."

"I think the spicy chocolate is probably coming from you, Maura," Jane says, her mouth in a half smile. "Come on. Let's get you to bed. I think it's time for you to sleep this off."

"But I'm not tired," Maura says, her eyes still closed. "I feel fantastic."

"Yeah, I bet you do. Come on Dr. Isles," Jane takes Maura by the elbow and leads her out of the kitchen.

"Jane?"

"Yes?"

"Will you come to bed with me?"

"_What_?!"

"Just to keep the room from spinning. Hold me tight?"

Jane swallows hard and squeezes Maura's elbow. "Yeah, Maura. Yeah. I think I can do that."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Written by – whatisitcalledagain**_

Jane squeezes the toothpaste on to Maura's toothbrush and hands it to the doctor, who is sitting on the vanity.

"Turn it on," Jane adds, closing the drawer. Maura giggles at the comment.

"Here," the brunette says, reaching for the device. With a press, the brush hums to life.

"AH!" Maura shoves her hand out to arms length, terror illuminated in her eyes. "It's electrocuting me!"

Jane reaches for Maura's wrists, "No, no, it's just a sonic toothbrush."

"Don't let it hurt me!" Maura shouts over her.

"It's not going to hurt you," Jane offers back.

"Jane, take it away, it's going to hurt me, take it Jane, Jane help me!"

"It's not going to hurt you," Jane offers, surprised by the medical examiner's outburst. "I won't let it hurt you," she says, taking the device from her.

They stare a clouded stare before Jane nods her head and says, "Open."

"Ahh," Maura sounds as she opens her mouth.

Puffs and specks of foam dance along Maura's chin and on Jane's t-shirt. The high, giggling and shifting woman proves to be as much work as a children, as she tried to speak to Jane as each tooth is cleaned.

"Iht's hddly rhmauntic," Maura says with a mouth full of foam.

Jane retrieves the brush, "Spit in the sink." Maura does. "What did you just say?"

"It's oddly romantic… the way you are caring for my hygiene, like when the pan troglodytes pick gnats from each other's hair." Maura reaches out for Jane's mane.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Written by – ismaurainlovewithjane**_

"Yeah, well, when you wake up in the morning, your mouth is going to be a delicious mix of marijuana, doritos, chocolate, Thin Mints, and sleep funk. So brushing your teeth is not just me being nice, Maura. It's me preventing you from searing off my eyebrows when you breathe on me." Jane gently pulled Maura's fingers out of her hair and steered her toward the dresser. "Now pick out some PJs."

Maura shook her head, her hair flying everywhere. "You missed a thing, Jane. Your monologue was incorrect."

"Mmm-hmm," Jane said, not really listening. She rifled through Maura's pajama drawer.

"My mouth will taste like marijuana and doritos and chocolate and Thin Mints and sleep funk and… and YOU, Jane." Maura tried to wink but just managed to lift the corner of her smile and close both eyes in a giant weird blink.

Jane couldn't help but burst out laughing. "You have lost your mind, Dr. Isles." She handed Maura a t-shirt. "Now get ready for bed before you fall over and give yourself a head injury."

Maura pulled off her work blouse in several sloppy movements, teetering to one side until Jane caught her by the elbow. Jane tried not to stare at the black demi-cup bra that looked like it was painted on. She tried not to stare at what filled that bra. She cleared her throat and averted her gaze.

"T-shirt. Maura."

"I'm working on it, Jane," Maura said, her voice muffled by the shirt over her face. Jane turned to see Maura with her arm sticking through the neck of the shirt, and her head stuck in an arm hole.

"Jesus Christ, Maura. Never do drugs, OK? Just say no!" Jane tugged at the shirt to try to keep Maura from suffocating.

"Just say no," Maura repeated. Then she startled and backed away from Jane, bumping into the dresser. Her head was still stuffed into the arm hole of the shirt. "Oh no! Oh Jane! I broke the law! Are you going to arrest me? Oh no!" She was waving her arms and freaking out, and Jane had to work really hard not to laugh.

"Calm down, Poindexter," Jane said, taking hold of Maura's arms and holding them to her side. "I can't arrest you for being high in your own house. Now be still. Let me help you." Jane fiddled with the shirt until Maura's face was visible again.

Maura gave Jane a grateful, lopsided smile. Then she frowned. She scratched at her back and then at her chest. "I am not wearing La Perla to bed, Jane. Get it off of me. Get if off right now. I'm suffocating! It's crushing my rib cage!"

"La Per— what?" Jane shook her head. "That fancy bra? It's not going to crush your rib cage." Though, the thought of that bra made Jane feel like _her_ rib cage was being crushed. She could barely breathe.

"GET IT OFF!" Maura yelled, her eyes wide and wild.

"Fine, fine," said Jane, her heart thumping. She was trying so hard to stay neutral here. To ignore the sloppy kiss, to not take advantage of the view. And now Maura wanted her to take off her bra?

"Jesus Christ," Jane muttered under her breath, lifting up the back of Maura's shirt. She took a breath and… there was no clasp. "What the hell?" Jane whispered.

"Front clasp," Maura whispered, smiling, all signs of her earlier panic gone. She lifted up her shirt and winked for real this time. "Front clasp, Jane."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Written by – notcryingonsunday**_

Jane glanced at Maura for a moment before gently reaching around to the front, her hands still underneath Maura's clothes. She pulled up the tee, exposing Maura's beautiful bosom. Jane only half-way attempted not to stare at her friend's breasts as she grabbed both sides of the clasp and unsnapped it.

"You're going to have to take your shirt off. Think you can handle it?"

"I think you should help me, Jane. You saw how I got stuck." Maura smirked, still coming on to the detective a bit strong.

Jane could not stop thinking about how much she was enjoying this. She enjoyed taking care of her best friend, even being hit on by her. Still, she knew better than to act on her feelings. "Arms up." She told Maura, attempting to pull the shirt off. She moved slowly, but swiftly, lifting the shirt over Maura's head. When it was over her face, Jane took the opportunity to sneak a glance at Maura's breasts again. She felt a yearning inside to touch them, kiss them.

Once Maura was in her pajamas, Jane said, "Alright, now get in the bed. You really need to sleep this off." Maura plopped down across the bed, her giggles making Jane smile, though she attempted to hide her joy.

"But, Jane, aren't you going to lay with me? I don't want to stay here all by myself!" Maura began to attempt singing 'I'm So Lonely,' only she was murmuring incomprehensibly through most of the chorus. Jane sat down on the side of the bed, reaching towards her feet to unlace her boots. She felt a tickle on the base of her neck that moved up towards her ear. Jane's shoulders tensed at the feeling that shot up her spine.

"Relax, Jane! You're so uptight sometimes!" Maura snorted as she laughed at her own words. Based on the nearness of Maura's voice, Jane instantly knew that it was Maura's mouth that tickled her neck. In that moment, Jane felt Maura's hands wrap around her waist, tightly hugging her body.

As if by instinct, Jane's hands wrapped around Maura's, holding them as they held her. Jane could hardly breathe. She did not know how to react, but knew that she wanted nothing more than to return the affection that the strawberry blonde was insistent on giving her.

Resting her chin on her shoulder, Jane glanced back towards Maura, hoping that their faces would be close to one another. Before she had the chance to look at her friend, Maura's lips were on Jane's. This time softer, more gentle, and definitely better tasting. Jane cracked a smile through the kiss, unable to hide her joy any longer.

"See? I knew you wanted to. I was right, Jane. Righty, right, right!" Maura said, never moving her lips from Jane's. She began kissing her again, more deeply this time.

Jane broke away from the delight of Maura's mouth. "Yes, you were so right, Maur. As usual."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Written by - whatisiscalledagain**_

Maura moves in for another kiss but Jane turns her head.

"As much as I would like to enjoy this, I don't think now is the time," the brunette states to the ceiling.

Maura snuggles deeper to the detective, pouting, but also understanding.

"Then can I kiss you tomorrow?" Maura asks.

"If you remember to, then yes."

"Jane, I'm high, not drunk," Maura says, pressing herself closer to brunette.

Slowly, she moves her hand in a circle, rubbing Jane's abdomen.

"I have a question," Maura starts.

"Yes?" Jane inquires.

"Have you ever broken the law?" The blonde yawns.

Jane ponders the question, thinking back to her youth. Maura is surprisingly patient.

"A couple times," comes the rasp. "I was in high school," Jane continues, suddenly playing with a locket of blonde. Maura closes her eyes to listen.

"It was after a football game my junior year," she bites her lip, vacillating whether to continue or not. "Erin and Jay, two of Casey's friends, invited me to a party."

"How cliché," Maura mumbles.

Jane scoffs with amusement. "Well then, no more story time."

"No," Maura coos out, sleep rising in her voice.

Jane takes a breath before continuing, her hand still playing with Maura's hair.

"There was this one time after I graduated. I sneaked out of the house after my curfew." Jane frowns at the memory. "I have no idea what possessed me to do it, but I ended up down by the tracks. There's this old abandoned warehouse down there." She pauses, expecting Maura to interject. The blonde just breathes evenly against her.

"It's one of those you'd see out near the pier or harbor, you know, the shipping storage type warehouses. Yeah, well," she pauses again and swallows, "let's just say I have a tendency to stick my nose where it doesn't belong. But you know that don't you?" Jane asks.

The blonde simply breathes against her.

"Yeah, I knew you did," Jane says to herself, smiling softly, before closing her own eyes.


End file.
